Family Withdrawal

"Susan, if you start comparing the Peace Corps to prison, you are going to have a long two years." That's how my friend Sara confirmed my fear that my thoughts were not humorous but depressing. I was going through family withdrawal.

My family visited my in the DR for the holidays, and we had a fantastic time. My dad loved my doña's cooking, my mom overcame her fears and went snorkeling, my brother learned to dance (a little), and my sister became miss popular with the kids in my community after she showed them how to make friendship bracelets. My parents and my brother could only stay a week, and when they left we all cried. My sister stayed a week longer, which helped to ease my family withdrawal but on the eve of her departure I lost my appetite.

The next few days I continued not to eat much, and I spent a large portion of my time sleeping. I knew I was missing my family so I decided to read a book to get my mind off of them. I chose to read Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman, which is a memoir about one women's year in prison. I thought it would be the perfect book to read, and I was very wrong. Almost immediately I began to make parallels between prison and Peace Corps.* By the time I finished the book I had thought of over a dozen commonalities. Here are the highlights:

 1. Separation from family and friends This is what started my trip down the rabbit hole. Kerman's description of her need to communicate with her family to keep her sane was relatable. In prison there are visiting hours, monitored phone calls, and letters. In Peace Corps there are weekly phone calls and emails, sporadic skype dates, and maybe once or twice a year a visit with family.

I also related to her sense of guilt because she was the cause of the separation. Many volunteers battle with doubt - Was it the right choice to join Peace Corps?, Is it worth it?, Is it fair to our loved ones back home?  Ultimately the majority of us push away the doubt and keep on working, in part thanks to the support our families and friends give us. Thanks for the reassurance!

2. Holidays are a big deal Holidays just are not the same without the family so in both prison and Peace Corps an effort is made to make these annual events fun and keep our minds off our loved ones.

3. Feeling disconnected from the outside world In her memoir Kerman writes about her desire to get a transistor radio so she can keep up with the latest music she keeps reading about in magazines. I too have thought about getting a radio for the same purpose. Most of my current pop music knowledge comes from listening to the music reviews on Fresh Air with Terri Gross. What a sad statement.

4. Care packages In both prison and Peace Corps care packages can make a person's day. They are a sign that someone out in the real world hasn't forgotten us. In both places one is also expected to share the love with others and pass any candy found inside.

5. Making unexpected friends In prison you don't get to choose your cellmates and likewise in Peace Corps you typically don't know any other volunteers until the night before you arrive in country. My Peace Corps friends and I often joke that the chances of us being friends in America would have been slim-to-none. This is in my opinion, one of the best things about Peace Corps. It is great to make connections with host country nationals but it is just as important to form bonds with other Americans.

The friends I have made in Peace Corps have made life in the DR easier. They have been there for the good and the bad, and are always ready to give me a reality check when I start comparing service to incarceration. If you meet a Peace Corps volunteer you should become friends with them - they make great friends - although we do tend to be a little crazy, but then again, you have to be a little crazy to join the Peace Corps.

***

Once Sara helped bring me back to reality my withdrawal symptoms began to recede. By the first day of school I was ready to get back into the swing of things. The students, however, had a different idea. In the morning there were 10 (out of 80+) students at school. In the afternoon not a single kid showed up. Apparently they had not had their fill of Christmas Break. I was told not to bother coming back to school until next week, when apparently school will truly start. I'll keep you posted on how the first real week of school goes.


*Of course there are many, many differences between prison and the Peace Corps places such as the obvious difference that people willing choose to join Peace Corps vs being taken to prison by the police. Also my experience in Peace Corps are completley different from those of other volunteers, even those within the DR.