Death in the D.R.

Cross cultural exchanges between myself and Dominicans almost always occur in unexpected moments. Like the time I had to explain that just because Americans send many used clothes to the Dominican Republic it doesn't mean we throw away our clothes after one use. A few weeks ago I my grandmother passed away, and I found myself explaining an aspect of American culture: death.

I was able to take an emergency vacation to the States to attend my grandmother's funeral, but before I left, I had to let all of my project partners and students know that I would be away for the week. After giving me their condolences my friends would inevitably ask if I was going to be able to attend the actual funeral. In the D.R. the tradition is to bury the dead 24 hours after their death. My neighbors were relived when I told them that in the U.S. the dead are typically embalmed to allow family members living far away to participate in the funeral services. Dominicans know of embalming but most families do not use the procedure either because they do not have the money and/or prefer to follow culture tradition of a rapid burial. 

Since the funeral is held 24 hours after death, the mourning process is sped up and intensified in most Dominican communities. Immediately following the death of a loved one the family springs into action informing everyone in the community of the death and inviting them over to the home of the deceased to mourn. I was once awoken at 6 a.m. by mourners informing neighbors of the death a community member who had died at 4 a.m. 

The home of the deceased becomes an impromptu wake. The body is typically laid on the ground in a bedroom where mourners can visit at and express all their emotions. Everyone in the community is expected to visit. Those closest to the family are expected to stay at the home until the funeral. The home often becomes a full 24 hour vigil of screaming, crying, and comforting. Unlike in the U.S. where everyone tries to keep their emotions in check, in the D.R. emotions are displayed at an almost theatrical level (I have seen people pass out in front of the body of the deceased.). There is little time for the family to be alone; which is the point. Dominicans do not like to leave friends alone during times of sadness. (One of my project partners said she would've traveled with me to the States if she could have, just so I wouldn't be alone.) 

It's easy to tell when a wake is being held at a home. There will be an overflow of people outside the house in white or black, sitting in plastic chairs and talking in groups. It is not uncommon for drinking to occur, and when an important figure in the community dies the wake can become a huge party. More of a celebration of the person's life than a mourning their death. The food and spirits are normally provided by the family of the deceased; unlike in the U.S. where friends and co-workers bring enough food to last the family for weeks.

Funeral Processional (umbrellas are for the sun)

When it is time to head to the cemetery Dominicans, like Americans, have a processional to the cemetery. However, aside from the processional itself, not much is the same. Almost everyone who attended the wake will also attend the funeral, which means a lot of vehicles are needed. Since most Dominicans do not own cars, all sorts of vehicles are used: motorcycles, busses, flatbed trucks, tourist safari trucks, livestock carriers, etc. The processional is also a slow one, allowing those who live along the route to the cemetery the opportunity to join in the processional and/or pay their respects. I was once part of a processional that took 45 minutes to travel 5km (typically a 10 minute drive).

Cemetery in Argentina 

Once at the cemetery the funeral itself is quick; often those at the end of the processional miss out on the majority of the service. As in much of Latin America, the dead are not buried below ground but instead are placed in tombs or family crypts. Following the funeral everyone gets back into the vehicles from the processional and return home - at a much faster speed. Depending on the family's religion other events will occur to memorialize the deceased such as a church service nine days after the death and/or a yearly mass in remembrance of the deceased. Most of these events are held by Catholic families. The majority of my community is evangelical (a growing sect in the D.R.), who typically refrain from such events. However, evangelicals will honor the deceased during the church service following the death of the deceased, as they did for my grandmother.

Explaining to my neighbors that I had to return to the U.S. for a funeral was a surprisingly cathartic experience. It allowed me to realize how integrated I have become  - I had so many people to inform of my departure - and I was able to see how deeply my community cares for me, which was part of the silver lining of loosing such a dear family member.

I want to thank everyone who gave me their condolences. And my apologies for those who didn't know I was back in the U.S. Let's meet up when I am home again in December.