The Little Things

Whenever I talk to someone about my life in the D.R. the big changes in my life always come up, like speaking Spanish, the heat, and living without running water. However there are many small differences in my life in the D.R. vs America that never get mentioned because people don’t even think to ask; I didn’t think about how my life would change in so many small ways before I left. 

Here are some examples of the little things I miss from home:

Carpets - I once visited a volunteer who had a mosque in his community. When we visited the mosque he told me, “Remember what this carpet feels like because you will never feel carpet again in this country.” He was right. I do not know any Dominicans who have carpeting in their homes. Most Dominicans have cement or tile floors; an initiative of health volunteers is to upgrade homes with dirt floors to cement. I can only guess the reason behind the lack of carpeting is due to the cost and that in order to clean carpets you need to use a vacuum, which are also absent from the island. Plus, lying on a cool cement floor during the summer is downright refreshing. 

Instead of pennies I get cough drops

Vacuums - Brooms and mops are the common cleaning instruments on the island. Although a vacuum is more efficient than a broom, a broom is much cheaper and does not require electricity. As I have previously mentioned, electricity is in short supply on the island. Nobody wants to wait around for the power to come back on to clean up a mess.

Paying with “large” bills - Whenever I go back to America, I have to re-adjust to the idea that I can pay for a $1 item with a $20 bill and not get flack for it from the cashier. At the colmados, corner stores, in my community I never bring anything higher than a $100 peso bill ($2.27 dollars), and even then I sometimes get change in candy (equal to one or two pesos depending on the brand).

Cash-Back - I had forgotten cash-back existed until I was in America on vacation. I became overly excited when the cash-back option appeared as I swiped my debit-card at Target. I took money out just for the novelty of it - and I forgot that Americans barely even use cash-back because you can pay for everything on your card.

My host family's couch is not suitable for napping

Couches - Oh how I wish I could stretch-out on a nice comfy couch at the end of a long day. Instead I just have plastic chairs. Some Dominicans have couches but they tend to be more wood than cushion. Plastic chairs reign supreme in the D.R. Anywhere you go you will see Dominicans sitting in the shade by their houses watching people pass on the road. In the summer that’s about all anyone can do during the heat of the day. Add some mangoes to the mix and you have a perfect summer afternoon.

Electricians - I have not had electricity in my bedroom since December 6, 2014. I have asked the neighborhood handy-man to come by and fix it multiple times but to no avail. I really wish there was a phone book with a list of electricians I could call. I have come to accept that I probably will not have electricity in my bedroom for the rest of my service, which is ending in a mere 36 days!

Pick-up lines and Poetry - One and the Same

Piropos (catcalls) are a national past time for Dominicans of all ages, both male and female. Dominican men consider it their duty to compliment women they pass them on the sidewalk or as they cruise by on their motorcycle. Likewise Dominican women expect to receive remarks from men as they walk down the street and will often assume they don’t look good if they don’t hear any comments. In short, piropos are not considered insulting, they are a way of recognizing the beauty of the female form. And so it came to be that the boys in my community recited “poems” a.k.a. cheesy pick-up lines to me in front of a large crowd at my surprise birthday party. I loved every second of it - yet another sign I may have become too integrated into Dominican culture.

Below are all the poems the boys recited, plus a few PG-13 ones that they shared with me later when I asked them for more examples. All the piropos are first in Spanish so you can see the rhyme in each one, and then translated into English. Enjoy!

• Si yo fuera mexicano te cantaría una canción pero como soy dominicano te llevo en mi corazón - If I were Mexican I would sing you a song but as I am Dominican I will carry you in my heart
• En la naturaleza no hay más bella que ti - In nature there is nothing more beautiful than you
• La rosa en agua dura siete días pero mi amor por ti dura para siempre - The rose in water lasts seven days but my love for you lasts forever
• Si quieres saber cuanto te quiero, cuenta las estrellas que hay en el cielo - If you want to know how much I love you, count the stars that are in the heavens
• Una paleron* con su espada conquistó una nación y tú con tu mirada conquistaste mi corazón - It took an assassin with his sword to conquer a nation and you with your look conquered my heart. *Refers to the assassins used by Dominican dictator Trujillo to eliminate political rivals.

Receiving a piropo from Joan at my birthday party.

Dominicans culture places an importance on God - even in piropos.

• Si fuera Dios te llevaría a la gloria pero como soy Joan, te llevo en mi memoria -If I were God I would take you to heaven, but as I am Joan, I will carry you in my memory
• Si amas a Jesus que murió por tanta gente porque no me amas a mi que muero para ti solamente - If you love God who died for so many people why don’t you love me, who would die only for you
• Si amor es un pecado dile a Dios que yo peque y seguía pecando porque siempre te amaré - If love is a sin, tell God that have sinned and will continue to sin because I will always love you
• No tengo alas para ir al cielo pero si tengo palabras para decirte te quiero - I do not have wings to go to heaven but I do have the words to tell you I love you

The following were not recited at my party because they were a bit more explicit. However, this first one would just be insulting as I am neither a liar nor a traitor:

• Los ojos azules mentirosos, los ojos verdes traicioneros, los negro y marrones los verdaderos - Blue eyes are liars, green eyes are traitors, black and broth are the truth. 
• Quisiera ser un mosquito para entrar en tu mosquitero y decirte al oído lo mucho que te quiero - I wish I was a mosquito so that I could enter your mosquito net and tell you in your ear how much I love you
• Pan es pan, casabe es casabe, tenemos un amor y nadie lo sabe - Bread is bread, and casabe is casabe, we are in love and no one knows
• No me tires piedrecita que me puede lastimar. Tira a me un besito que me puede enamorar. - Don’t throw at me a stone that could hurt me. Throw me a kiss that I can love.
• Anoche soné contigo, sonaba que me besaba y de tan bueno que estaba anda me caí de la cama - Last night I dreamed of you, I dreamed that you kissed me and it was so good that I fell from the bed
• Cinco sentimientos tenemos, cinco sentimientos perdemos cuando nos enamorarnos - Five senses we have, five senses we loose when we are in love

Not surprisingly for an island nation, the ocean is another big piropo theme:

• Fui al mar a ver si te olvidaba y las olas me dijeron no la olvide que ella te ama - I went to the ocean to see if I could forget you and the waves told me not to forget that you love me.
• Quisiera ser el mar y tu la roca para seguir las olas y besar tu linda boca - I wish I was the sea and you a rock so that I could follow the waves and kiss your pretty mouth
• Me gusta las olas cuando chocan de la roca, me gustan tus labios cuando chocan de mi boca - I like when the waves crash on the rock, I like your lips when they crash into my mouth

Lastly, a warning on respectability:

• Me gusta las mariposas que van rosa en rosa pero no me gusta las chicas que van boca en boca - I like the butterflies that go from rose to rose but I don’t like the girls who go from mouth to mouth.

The Long Goodbye

Goodbyes can be awkward and emotional. Which is why I am not enjoying my current long and strung-out goodbye with the Dominican Republic. 

Leaving the U.S. for the D.R. was relatively easy. I was excited for a new adventure and I knew I would only be gone two years. Leaving the D.R. has been completely different. While I am excited to start the next chapter in my life, I am leaving behind not just a job, but a community. I have no idea when I will have the chance to visit the D.R., and since my community doesn’t have cell phone service (let alone internet), keeping in touch with my host family and friends is going to be a challenge. My neighbors have also realized that our relationship is about to change, and they can’t help but remind me constantly that I will be leaving them soon.

The goodbye started in November when my neighbors started to ask how much longer I would be living in the D.R. “Don’t worry,” I said, “I still have seven months left.” But worry they did. In December my host mom cried as I said goodbye before I headed home for a two week vacation. Kids have written me letters asking me not to leave and have also threatened to steal my suitcases. My project partners have asked me on several occasions to stay another year. To everyone who asks me to stay, I politely explain that while I love them all, I miss my family and my country, and that I want to live in a modern city. 

Some of the kids have gotten possessive of my stuff.

Yet, while I have tried to make the decision to leave seem like an easy one, the decision to leave was a hard choice to make. I seriously considered staying on the island for another year, but in the end America won. There is still a small part of me that wants to stay, so every time a student asks me to stay it is like a little knife it pricking my heart. In my dreams I take all my neighbors to America with me and spend all my time watching them experience luxuries we take for granted, like movie theaters, hot running water, dish washers, elevators, amusement parks, etc.

Something I am still trying to figure-out is what am I going to do with all the stuff I have accumulated over the past two years? My neighbors would like me to give everything I have to them. Even before people began to ask when I was leaving, they would tell me things like, “Susi, I like your shirt. Give it to me when you leave.” Now that my departure is only a few months away these requests have become more frequent. My 10 year-old BFF has threatened to kill me if I don’t give her my plastic storage container. I don’t mind giving my things away, but I am concerned that there will be hurt feelings if people don’t get what they want. As of now, my plan is to wait until the day before I leave to give things out that way I only have to deal with angry neighbors for one day.

My neighbors want my cat too - but he is coming with me!

As for what is next for me after Peace Corps, well I don’t have that figured out either. However, if I have learned one thing from Peace Corps it is not to stress. I know everything will work out for me, I just have to be patient. While I wait for my life to sort it self out my siblings and I are planning a trip across Europe to coincide with the end of my service and my sister’s graduation from college. Our tentative route is: Barcelona, Nice, Milan, Munich, Prague, Vienna, Athens, and Istanbul. If you have any recommendations or tips for our grand european sojourn be sure to let one of us know!

Using Comedy to Cope

Playing with kids and puppies can brighten any day.

When I was in 4th grade I went through a phase where I was really into holocaust survivor autobiographies. I was transfixed by the different ways the holocaust victims were able to carry on through such immense hardship and go on to live relatively normal lives. (My obsession got to the point that my friends gave me a necklace that said “Morbid Freak.”) My love of grizzly true-life stories continues to this day, and may be one of the reasons I have been able to make it through my Peace Corps service relatively unscathed mentally.  

In the Peace Corps volunteers have to deal with a lot of depressing facts on a daily basis. We have students in the third grade who can’t read, neighbors who die young in motorcycle accidents, project partners who beat their children, etc.Some volunteers will get weighed down by the harsh reality surrounding them and choose to head back to the U.S. where they don’t have to confront these injustices on a daily basis (although they certainly still exist in the U.S.). Those of us who stay employ a variety of different coping mechanisms to help get us through the day. We all do what we can to improve the situation such as start tutoring programs and hold parenting classes. Many of us try to reduce our stress by exercising. Some, like me, try to remember worst things have and can happen. And at some point we will all try to find the humor in our experiences as volunteers. 

Here are the different types of humor volunteers use to distract us from reality: 

Ridiculousness - This can be employed when anything out of the norm happens. One just has to be able to recognize the absurdity of the situation and be able to laugh about it. One of my friends, Cory, has had to deal with maggots in random places in her house and unrequited lovers planting flowers in front of her house. She has a lovely laugh.

Mental health days at the beach are great.

 Only in the D.R. - Typically used to preface a comment about something that you hope does not occur elsewhere. Can be used as an excuse for culture clash volunteers can face. Example: “Only in the D.R. do citizens say that changing the constitution to allow the current President to run again isn’t a big deal because terrible politicians are always changing the constitution, and they might as well let a slightly good-guy change the rules for once.” Or, “Only in the D.R. can you let your twelve year-old child drive your car on the highway while you stand up through the sun roof drinking a 750 ml beer without fear of being arrested.”

Too True - When someone delivers news like it is a joke but there is no punch line, the sheer audacity of the statement is supposed to make it funny. Too true statements can often fall flat and are more commonly heard when people are drinking and the comedy bar has been lowered. I have made the following statement on several occasions and received laughs in response only because there isn’t much more you can say to the following: “My 70 year old neighbor asked me to be his lover.” 

Humor is definitely the most enjoyable coping mechanism, so if you know a volunteer send them a funny email or a link to a Buzzfeed listicle. I promise you it will make their day. To all the volunteers who make me laugh, you guys are the best. And to my sister Kelly, who always finds a way to make me smile, you are the most wonderful sister a gal could have! Thanks to everyone who has helped keep my spirits up the last 23 months – only four more to go!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

My Spanish has improved leaps and bounds since I arrived in the Dominican Republic. But the comments my students make are often so out-of-the-blue that I have to ask them to repeat themselves or elaborate. Here is a sampling of some recent conversations:

Collecting Cajuil Fruit

Student - Susan, how big is your property?

Me - My property? I just rent the house. I guess just the front yard.

Student - And is the Cajuil tree part of your yard? 

Me - Yes

Student - Can we go get some Cajuil fruit?

Me - Sure.

And thus I spent an extra few minutes after class collecting fresh fruit with my students.

***

Student - Susi, do you have a secret boyfriend?

Me - A secret boyfriend, why do you think I have a secret boyfriend?

Student - Because how can you not have a boyfriend! He lives in the capital, doesn't he? I am sure of it!

Me - No, sorry, if only.

Student - Fine be that way, I know you are lying!

***

First class with my new boy's youth group

Me - Okay boys, it is time to come up with the rules for your youth group.

Students whispering.

Me - What was that? I heard my name. Tell me what you all said!

Student - Wilberto says we should have a rule that says that none of us are allowed to fall in love with you.

Me - Fall in love with me?

Students nod heads.

Me - Well don’t worry boys I promise I will never fall in love with any of you. You all are a little too young for me anyways.

***

Student - I don’t believe you were in a fight?

Me - When was I in a fight?!

Student - Susi! Don’t pretend you don’t remember telling me!

Me - Oh, you mean the time when I was 10?

Student - Yeah!

This conversation then turned into my student demonstrating how she would have attacked a person who recently gave me some bad news.

***

I have the best students.

The Library Inauguration

"Susan, I am impressed. You are so calm right now." 

The room was already packed 30 minutes before we started

That is what a friend and fellow volunteer said to me as I walked, not ran, around completing last minute details for the community library inauguration which was to happen in under an hour. I attribute my part of my calm demeanor to my integration into Dominican culture. Nothing ever starts on time here, so me taking a few extra minutes to set things up wasn't going to ruin the event. Really though, nothing could ruin the event for me or the other member of the library committee. We had worked so hard and long (over 3 years) to make the library a reality that nothing was going to spoil the day for us.

My youth group presenting their acrostic

Only an hour after the scheduled start time, basically on time by Dominican standards, the inauguration of the Ernestina Hidalgo Community Library began. During the ceremony there were speeches given by the Governor of Samaná, the Director of the Education District of Samaná, the Peace Corps Librarian, the mayor of my community, a daughter of the library's namesake, the president of the library committee, and several other local political leaders. The most exciting speech for me to hear was that of the Director of the education district. She promised to send a teacher to work full-time at the library! Otherwise the speeches were all pretty similar: praising the community and extolling us as an example for the rest of Samaná. Not too bad of a thing to hear over and over again. Still to keep the audience entertained the speeches were  broken up by a few special performances. My girl's youth group presented an acrostic of the word biblioteca (library) and students from one of the local schools performed two dances, including a traditional merengue ripiao, a dance special to the north-east coast of the D.R. 

I spoke briefly during the ceremony, mostly using my time to make announcements about upcoming events at the library. But I also said something I would like to make clear with all of you readers. My community would have made the library a reality if I had not been present. But I could have never made the library without my community. I served as a treasurer, grant writer and book cataloger, meanwhile my project partners harassed politicians for donations, got permission from the privately owned road company to perform construction, corralled community members to help with construction, and fed all the workers at least twice a day. The library is 100% the result of my community's effort to achieve their dream of a better future for their children.

The inauguration lasted 2.5 hours, at which point refreshments were served to the 200 or so people in attendance - most craning their eyes through the windows to get a glimpse of the event. Refreshments or brindis as it is know in the D.R. is a big deal. No event is complete without it, and it can serve as a marker for how much detail and preparation went into the event. For our brindis everyone received a plate with an empanada, a quipe, a mayonnaise sandwich with cheese, and a marshmallow which is considered a Christmas sweet in the D.R. Everyone also got a cup of fruit punch filled with apples, melon, pineapples, and passion fruit.

Dancing at the after-party

Once the masses were filled with food and had dispersed back to their houses, the real party began for myself and the library committee members. The library was turned into a dance floor and rum and wine flowed. I kept my promise to the construction workers and danced with all of them who asked my hand. One of them laughed as we danced and when I asked him what was funny he responded, "You can dance!" (Since arriving in the D.R. my love of dancing has grown and I now take every opportunity I can to dance bachata and merengue.) 

Dancing ended at 9pm - most of the committee members were exhausted from the inauguration preparation. However, myself and the other five volunteers visiting me continued the party at my house. We played music, made smores, and when the power went out at 1am we proceeded to play with candles. At 4am we all headed to bed, but with only two beds and six people  it took another hour before we got the bedtime giggles out of our system and went to sleep. I felt like I was back in middle school having a sleepover with my best friends. We then all got up at 8am, ate bacon (a rare find in the D.R.), and went to the beach for the day. When I returned from the beach a few of the neighborhood kids commented on how loud we had been the night before. I took the comments with a smile on my face - I had finally managed to out noise my neighbors.

Kids learning to play Scrabble

Back to the library.  So far everything has been up and running fairly smoothly this week. Kids are learning how to use the simplified dewey decimal system (numbers 0-9), and keep the 700+ books organized. Another new experience for many visitors are the computers. For many people the first time they use a computer is when they type their name in our attendance tracker. Similarly using the printer has become a big event with wide-eyed kids crowded around the machine. Technology isn't the only enticement at the library - the kids can't get enough of Monopoly. (I have a rule that they have to read a book before they can play games.) 

This was the first time these girls saw a printer

However, we still have a door issue. The mayor of Samaná promised to donate two doors for the building. They finally arrived the day before the inauguration but the one for the library side of the building was not the right size. We finally got a door for the library side, but of course it is still too small, so before we move everything over we have to fill the gap with wood or something else. For now we are using the meeting room for the library. Since the room is smaller things have been a little cramped. I have had to place some tables in the empty library so that visitors have enough space. We have been averaging about 25 people a day at the library. My goal is to get 100 individuals to visit the library by Saturday, so far we have 55 so I think we can get there.

The temporary library location

Kids outside the now - almost - complete library

The true test for the library will be how my community manages it while I am gone on vacation in the U.S. Thankfully I don't think there will be any major problems while I am away. My community has fought too long and hard to let the library fall by the wayside after only a week. Plus considering how the kids have started lurking around my house waiting for me to open the library, I can't imagine them letting the adults in the community off the hook. 

You can see more pictures of the library here.

Celebrations

In the past two weeks I have celebrated five big events: Thanksgiving, a school concert, the graduation of my Me Toca a Mi class, Día de Santa Barbara, and the inauguration of my community's library. Miraculously all the events were big successes and I only fell asleep during one ceremony. Here is the run down:

Practicing yoga with my neighbors

Every year volunteers organize a big dinner in the capital so we can celebrate Thanksgiving together. The holidays are a tough time to be away from home, but a pool party followed by a delicious American dinner certainly helps numb the pain. I woke up early on Thanksgiving day to participate in a  5k run with other volunteers. I finished the race in 25:36 - blowing by my goal of 30 minutes. I think I could have gotten below 25 minutes but I wanted to save my energy for the rest of the day's festivities. Side note: I started to prepare for the 5k in September, I had never consistently exercised in my community before then, and the experience has been a positive one. Word has spread that I do yoga, and many women have requested that I start a class, and their wishes will come true in January. I occasionally even have kids come by the house and exercise with me.


The rest of Thanksgiving was a blast, there are only a few opportunities a year for us volunteers to get together in big groups. Most of the time it is too difficult for everyone to get together due to our work and the distances between our communities. One of my friends, Conner, who I talk to on the phone weekly, I had not seen in eight months. Unsurprisingly I stayed up late talking with friends until 5am. But by 12pm I was back on a bus to my community so that I could make it on time to the next celebration.

My host sister (left) and another student singing

When I arrived back home I had just enough time to eat before I headed off with my host family to a school concert. The purpose of the concert was twofold: to promote student creativity and to fundraise money for the 8th grade's graduation. The event was held in a church and the place was packed, with many people staring in through the windows. The concert consisted of a variety of singing and dancing performances. I was bursting with pride throughout the concert as my students took the stage but I couldn't compete with my host mom who was screaming and yelling every time my host sister performed. Afterwards my host mom said, "The doctor says that I am not supposed to jump around and get excited because of my high blood pressure but oh my God - Emely!" And then she proceeded to jump around some more in the middle of the street.

The following day 19 students between the ages of 5 and 17 graduated from the Peace Corps Me Toca a Mi course. As I have previously mentioned, the course uses a novela (soap opera) with Dominican actors to talk about a variety of issues that affect the youth in the D.R. including: HIV/AIDs, drinking, education, family relationships, homosexuality, discrimination etc.  After each episode of the novela we played games and held discussions that addressed the episodes themes. Sometimes conversations were heated, but some minds were changed and perspectives widened.

The 19 Me Toca a Mi Graduates

Prior to the graduation the class hand wrote invitations and gave them to their parents. Unfortunately, only two parents attended the event. This wasn't surprising because sadly, parents do not tend to participate in school and extracurricular events when invited (the school concert was out of the norm). It was shame the parents didn't show because the class held a fantastic talent show which mixed dancing, singing, jokes, and skits. Kids here, just like all over the world, love showing off what they can do, I know they were disappointed their parents were not there to see them shine. Next time I am going to harass the parents house by house. Although parents didn't show, their were at least 30 siblings and friends present to cheer on the graduates.

Patronales celebrations, a week long event celebrating the patron saint of a community, began the same day as the Me Toca a Mi graduation. In the D.R. most patronales have turned into a week of night concerts. I was too tired to go into town for the headliner event, El Alpha, previously highlighted in my music post. But I did make it to the church service honoring Samaná's patron saint, Saint Barbara. My host mom and I arrived at church at 7:30am in order to ensure we got good seats. We thought the service would start at 8am but in typical Dominican fashion it started at 9:30am. While we waited in the pews I fell asleep. I have no regrets. I needed that nap to get through the rest of the service which included: first communion, confirmation, a speech from the bishop about abortion (a topic heating up in the D.R.), a speech from the priest about how the patronales partying has gotten out of hand (it kinda has), communion, and a processional around town with a statue of Saint Barbara.

Finally, on Saturday, the day my entire community has been waiting 3 years to arrive, we inaugurated the Ernestina Hidalgo Community Library. The event was so big that it has its own post.

All the celebrations over the past few weeks have left me in high spirits. I feel so lucky and blessed to be living the life I have now, which is a big change from this time last year. Last december I was counting down the days until my family's arrival and couldn't wait to get out of my community. Now I feel like I don't have enough time before I leave for a vacation in the States. So to all my volunteer friends sick with the holiday blues and/or the one-year slump, remember you will get through it! And to everyone back home, I am super looking forward to seeing you all, but I know this time there will be people in the D.R. I will miss while I am gone.